David Lawrence Cromwell likes to remind me, usually when I think he’s being completely asinine, that he deserves a break; that he spent most of the last 14 years under water, that he is still learning how to live above the surface - “up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun …”

It always sounds a bit to me like he too, has aspirations of becoming Ariel.

The Little Mermaid was the first movie I ever saw in theaters. Ariel, my first Disney princess and once we met, I rarely strayed from complete idolization of her. And really, who would? There was something so alluring about being an opinionated & independent redheaded mermaid who flounced around the bottom of the ocean on the back of a seahorse in a bra made of clam shells. I dreamt of becoming Ariel.

At 28, I  was slowly relinquishing hope in that dream, unrealized & tragic from the death grip I had on it, until a glorious day last week.

I spent the end of 2011 doing something I never imagined I would; diving like a fish into the depths of the ocean, breathing underwater & discovering pure magic among endless fields of coral & color.

I can now attest that, like Crom told me, everything is, in fact, different underwater than it is on the surface. The entire landscape changes, the noise of the world is muffled, things become clear, your heart has the space to speak to your mind. You feel simultaneously completely safe & totally reckless.

In this quiet space, I found myself pondering 2012 & looking back on 2011. It was a wild year. Full of laughter, my crazy family, my crazier friends, divine travel & a boatload of experiences that I, in no way, deserve.

I frolicked around the French West Indies, Hawaii, France, Italy, Monaco, Montana, Mexico & the Maldives. Lola & Bliss Photography received her official birth certificate (a business license), I was blessed by brilliant clients, rode the waves of creative development & had many incredible shoots.

I discovered shellac manicures, paddleboard yoga, cribbage & the timelessness of a pair of Frye boots. Crom & I went wine tasting on Bainbridge, did cartwheels on Balboa Island, spent countless hours studying/editing at the dining room table, fought like emotionally unstable teenagers over a game of bowling & laughed at each other almost everyday.

I lost Lola & found Yanni.

I worked, dreamed, played & tried to be thankful for at least one thing everyday.

Some days that was harder than others.

But that is neither here nor there.

In the interest of full disclosure, I had spent a majority of December 31st considering silly (aka sure to be short-lived) resolutions for the new year. Do more yoga, read a classic a month, go vegan, wear more gold, paint my nails daily, be nicer to cats. The standards. Then yesterday, as I was 35 feet below the surface floating through currents, becoming Ariel, I began to really ponder 2012.

What resolutions to make? What goals to strive for? Which dreams to pursue?

I remembered back to a few new years ago when I was asking myself similar, but perhaps more pressing questions … Who was I? Where was I headed? What was I going to be?  And in the whirlwind of those unanswerables, I realized that maybe life was less about what I was going to be & more about becoming who I already was.

The art of becoming.

Becoming human.

Becoming a photographer.
Becoming a writer.

Becoming Ariel.

Becoming human is going to take a lifetime, I’ve only just begun that journey. I’m on the road to becoming a photographer, chipping away on it daily & since learning to scuba dive, I’ve realized I can become Ariel too (albeit a less attractive version, but one with fins nonetheless).

So it leaves me becoming a writer & I have learned that in order to become, one must do. I put down the pen a year ago in the hopes of focusing my attention on developing Lola & Bliss Photography, but 2012 is going to see its rebirth.

Until then … Enjoy 2012’s brilliant beginnings.

L.